While verbally communicating your grief experience can be helpful, language in this context is not exclusive to spoken words. In this case, language means whatever form of expression that comes naturally. Language can also be an art form conveyed by writing or gestures and is only limited by the imagination.
What is even more important on this journey is support. It is not uncommon for relationships to undergo various transformations during periods of grieving. Some relationships weaken, some grow stronger and some dissolve. Finding your person or community that will and can hold this sacred space for you is crucial. Holding space entails providing time that allows the person to be expressively free without receiving judgement or advice, unless advice is specifically solicited. There is a theory in grief I personally find to be true, which is called ‘the therapeutic third’. The theory says social support is divided into thirds or the following categories: neutral third, harmful third, and therapeutic third.
True to their name, the therapeutic third are going to be those who do not take the pain of grief away, but instead make us feel held and supported by allowing us to be freely expressive about our loss. Then there are those who are neither harmful or helpful – the neutral third – and those who unfortunately are harmful before the loss and/or harmful after loss – the harmful third.
Though this journey can be a long and tough one, go forth if you have not already and find your community. If not quite there yet, take your time and do not forget to muster up the same compassion and grace that we often extend to others back to self.
Wolfelt, A 1996 Reaching Out for Help When You Are Grieving
Your friend in dark and light,
Jasmine Cobb, LMSW, CGCS
Jasmine Cobb:
Licensed Master Social
Worker and Certified Grief
Counseling Specialist.
Facebook: @visualhealingts
Instagram: @visualhealingts
TikTok: @visualhealingts
]]>The answer is YES, share! Speak friends! Talking and expressing our way through this journey will eventually give way to organically discovering what is beneath the surface of our emotions.
]]>The answer is YES, share! Speak friends! Talking and expressing our way through this journey will eventually give way to organically discovering what is beneath the surface of our emotions.
“I was angry at my Mom for leaving me,” said founder Helena Bates of Heartthrob Access.
Did you know at the root of anger is actually hurt? Therefore, I invite us to be angry! And dare us to be hurt! Now, ask yourself, is it possible that these two emotions can co-exist? Most certainly!
After all, it is not about being angry, but what matters is what we do with that energy. “I realized, I was in this exact space during a conversation with my sister,” said Helena. “My sister said well, it was not our Mother’s choice to die,” Helena said, which never occurred to her until being in that moment.
Yet, what was uncovered next would be impossible without words. It was Helena’s moment of truth: she was both, angry AND hurt. When we give ourselves permission to fully open up to experience the lows as well as the highs of the grieving process, growth is inevitable.
Now, whatever the situation or whatever the case, let us grow together friends! Every heart has a story. Share yours!
In Light,
Jasmine Cobb, LMSW, CGCS
Jasmine Cobb:
Licensed Master Social
Worker and Certified Grief
Counseling Specialist.
Facebook: @visualhealingts
Instagram: @visualhealingts
TikTok: @visualhealingts
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